DEALING WITH BATTLES IN THE CLASSROOM

In today's blog I am going into some detail that will give you a perspective that may help you out in your classrooms- this one is for Teachers!

There is no doubt about it that Teaching is a tough gig, I believe it is one of the hardest and massively undervalued jobs in the world and unless you have been there and done it, I don’t think you will ever understand just how hard it is.

This is why I do what I do- I’m passionate about being a source of support, advice and help for all of you teachers out there so you don’t feel as alone as teaching can often make you feel isolated.

I am going to focus on those tricky characters you have in your classroom and give you a few ideas that can help you find some common ground and see the woods for the trees so it doesn't feel like it is groundhog day or you are chasing your tail on a daily basis. When this does become the cycle then we all know that it leads to burn out and resentment for doing the job that you once dreamed of doing- therefore change is needed!

Ok, so I will keep this brief and simple by breaking it down into 5 of my starting points to make changes as I know how busy you all are - of course, there is so much more that can be said on this subject, and so much more support, advice and strategy that I can give, but for the purposes of some quick and easy pointers the following are the focus for today. If you want to discuss anything in any further detail then please do give me a shout using the details on my website, leaving a comment on my social media post or a review on my podcast.

1. DIG

Firstly, let's presume that you have 1, 2 or maybe even a handful of students that are struggling and you are having particular problems with on a daily basis; the first thing to remember is that ALL behaviours have a reason, not an excuse, a reason, and it is our job to try and understand what that reason is - we are not going to find out by asking them to leave the classroom or sending them to the Head every time there is an issue; we have to start digging. Yes it will take some time, but that time is going to be well spent by finding out more about those children.

- What is their home life like now? What has their home life been like in the past? Is there ant specific trauma? Who do they live with? Some subtle questions to the child, a phone call home, speaking to other staff who have worked with them before- are all good starting points to gather a bigger picture than the tip of the iceberg you are seeing in the classroom.

- What specific needs do they have- diagnosed and/or undiagnosed- this sounds obvious but SO often this can go under the radar in schools, it shouldn't, but the reality is that it can and it does. It is likely that the things you are noticing will be the start of a deeper understanding of the child, not just for you but for the adults that will be working with them in future, maybe even the start of a diagnosis pathway.

Observing, noticing and following up on specific needs means you are literally changing lives by changing narratives surrounding those specific children through understanding and empathy; this is massive for them and you!

2. BUILD RELATIONSHIPS

This is HUGE! You have to build relationships with those that you are teaching in any case- that, in my view, is fundamental to the teaching profession- relationships are everything. In this era, if you see yourself as just a deliverer of information then you are missing a trick in regards to the meaning of being a teacher; teaching is about creating an atmosphere of trust, confidence, love, empathy and fun.

For a long time now we have talked - usually with complaint - about how we are required to be not just be teachers but also doctors, nurses, social workers, relationship counsellors.... the list goes on, but the fact is, that is now all part of the job.

Yes we can talk about how the system is flawed, everyone is overworked, stretched and not paid enough, but that, at ground level, on the front line, is a waste of energy. The other option, the other choice, is to adapt. Leave your ego and troubles at the door in the morning and be what the children that you teach need you to be and do it on a daily basis - If you can’t do that then the question is why? Do you need support in school? Do you need support away from school? If so then reach out, ask for it- there is no shame in needing and asking for support- you are looking after yourself so you can be the best that you can be for them- there should never be any shame or judgement involved attached to this!

Anyway- I digress, the point I am making on this one is to go out of your way to build relationships with the children you teach, but in this case, particularly the children you are having daily battles with- make even more of an effort with them. Put some time aside each day, it may only be 5 minutes each morning, just to connect, ask questions, play games, connect with them on a human level, make sure they know they are seen by you.

I learnt early in my career from the experts around me that this is the absolute basics of supporting habits of positive behaviours and attitudes - racking up those tokens on a daily basis, even when they don’t expect you to see them, SEE THEM, notice them, go out of your way to speak to them on a human level- the results of this approach are unbelievable! These tokens that you have built up, and by that I mean the depth of relationships, they will count even or more in those tough times, those times when the child or young person is operating in the part of the brain where logic is defying them and their choices are misjudged- your presence, your voice, your relationship, may be the things that help them get to where you want them to be- to where, in actual fact, and unknowingly to them in the moment, they want to be!

3. CREATE A SYSTEM & CLEAR BOUNDARIES

Next, create a class ethos, a code of conduct. Ideally this should be one and the same throughout the school so everyone is singing from the same hymn sheet, but if this doesn't exist, or it is not working, then change it up!

Again, meet the needs of the children and young people that you are faced with each morning- you are their teacher, you know them best- do what works for them. Get them involved somehow in an age appropriate way- what do they believe the rules of the classroom should be? How should they treat each other and the adults and vice versa?

And, importantly, what happens if you are not sticking to the code of conduct? What happens if you are? How does this impact themselves or others either way? What is the ripple effect of this?

Help them understand WHY each part of the code of conduct is there, the impact this has- don’t just stick it on the wall, tell them what it is and then crack on expecting everyone to buy into it, it just doesn't work like that any more, maybe it did at some point in time but we have moved on. Again, this approach will make massive strides into the relationship building process.

Do ensure that you have a clear system of approach for when children are having difficulties in your class- have a clear warning system, then have a clear structure that ensures that they know how the system will work if they continue to not listen to and follow the advice they are being given- this provides clear boundaries for them to understand when things are not going right - this is an important structure to have in your classrooms. Yes, they will make mistakes, nobody is expecting perfection, but the conversations that surround these mistakes are EVERYTHING in regards to them understanding how to avoid continuously making the same mistakes.

What happens when we have specific children who are really struggling to buy into this concept for a variety of reasons? Well the starting point will be what I have already discussed here in this blog, but this is often when we need to partner these approaches and the code of conduct with some specific social and emotional interventions on a daily or weekly basis depending on needs. Observe EXACTLY what they are struggling with: relationships with peers, social interactions, understanding emotions, regulating emotions- or is it a mix or all of the above? NOTICE what it is they need, what gaps need filling, then start work on filling them, just as you would with their academic skills and knowledge.

This is something I spend a lot of time focusing on with those I work with as I know, as I think we all do, that without these basic social and emotional needs being met sufficiently, there will be stifled academic progress anyway!

4. LOOK FOR THE GOOD

This is a tough one when you are in the habit of having constant battles, particularly if you feel you are being consistently ignored and disrespected, but it is absolutely CRUCIAL to changing the narrative for you and your student.

Unfortunately, it is in our human nature to focus on the negatives in our everyday lives. I won’t go into detail but this is a fact. If you think about it, negativity is a focal point all around us, the news, social media, staff rooms, daily conversations and thought patterns, and if we were going to go deep on this subject then we would start asking why and where does it stem from? But that is a conversation for another day and today I’m just pointing out the fact.

So, what I am imploring you to do is train your brain to start looking for the good, the positives, the wins, the learning curves. This won’t happen overnight and it will take conscious effort but I promise, it is worth it.

How does this look then- so firstly, it's the work on yourself, it's taking 5 minutes at the end of each day to think, talk or write about the positive elements of your day- EVERY DAY, even when it was clearly a disastrous day- find the good- hunt for it!

Secondly- catch the children you teach doing the right thing, making good choices, no matter how small and seemingly insignificant, notice and praise! Praise loudly so all can hear, praise quietly, with an ‘arm round the shoulder’ type approach, encourage your students to praise each other- whatever will work for the specific children and young people you are working with- just do it! Obviously, this is even more significant for those who you are having particular difficulties with because over time you will be slowly, but surely changing the narrative, for you, for them and for all of the other adults and children surrounding them.

Lastly, how good would it be to have your class ALL keep a gratitude diary that asks them to spend 5 minutes, at the end of EVERY day writing down 3 positive things from their day- even those that may have found themselves in a lot of trouble that day- what a powerful life tool to teach to your students!

5. BE THE CALM - TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

Finally, remember that you are the adult, you are the calm, you are the role model that your students are looking to as a beacon for guidance every single day. Yes, I know this is pressure, but it is what it is- you chose to be the one- you were born to be the one- you just need to do all you can to keep this at the forefront of your mind in all that you do.

I also know how difficult this is, particularly in difficult times when challenging behaviours and attitudes are grinding you down and draining your soul- and this is where the looking after yourself part of my advice becomes the crucial, basic, foundations of dealing with those battles you are having in the classroom.

As I have said about your children being unable to learn when they are not in the right headspace to learn, the same principle goes for you. If you are not in the right headspace to teach, to be and do all of the things I am discussing here today, then you are going to be running uphill, chasing your tail, weeing against the wind…whatever way you want it put it, EVERY day, and we all know where that is leading, stress and burn out which isn't good for anybody involved!

My first podcast episode focuses exactly on this point, looking after yourself, please please go back and listen to it for support; I try to keep them short so they are not heavy or time consuming listens, so do have a listen.

For all of the Teachers reading this or listening to my Podcast, Please remember, I am here to help. I am not, and never will be, digging you out in any way shape or form, if you feel seen by some of the things I say that is because I know how you feel, I have been there 1000 times over and it is a tough place to be.

I really hope you have found this episode useful today and I hope it gives you the scaffold of support that is intended.

If so, please leave a comment or review and send it to any of your friends and colleagues that you feel may benefit from it.

Much Love x